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  • Writer's pictureCaleb Parkin

NaPoWriMo 4.7: Product Recall



Catch up Friday (and because writing is more fun that other things I should probably be doing).

A quickly-written but heartfelt piece today (for yesterday, day seven) on behalf of me and I suspect many other road-users…

Product Recall

In an unprecedented cross-brand move the producers of multiple makes of luxury cars have issued an urgent statement in which they state a range of failure, including:

indicators which refuse to signal anything but total disregard for others; wing-mirrors which reflect only the image of the driver; rear-view mirrors which frame only the owner’s own navel; windows which bring about colour-blind confusion between red, amber and green; and pedals which twitch of their own volition.

They are recommending the return of every single model of these cars, which will immediately be melted down into ostentatious bike racks and public sculpture, marking this historic occasion as an act of reconciliation to all those who will never again feel the dark alloy menacing them just feet away, on the motorway; to all those who will never again feel their revving presences sending fear and loathing through their fleshy and crash-helmeted minds.

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