• Caleb Parkin

Making a List, Checking It Twice, GOING TO FIND OUT


I’m presently sat in my living room, having been distracted from filling in a Housing Benefit form – joy to the world – by my housemate and boyfriend’s lovely singing of Christmas songs.

We’ve just been doing a delightful three part harmony version of Away in a Manger – whose lyrics are rather sweet and gentle as you’d imagine – and then moved on to the actually rather sinister Santa Clause is Coming To Town…As per the quote on the title line, it may as well be written about a serial killer selecting their victims.

Here are the lyrics:

You better watch out You better not cry Better not pout I’m telling you why Santa Claus is coming to town He’s making a list And checking it twice; Gonna find out Who’s naughty and nice Santa Claus is coming to town He sees you when you’re sleeping He knows when you’re awake He knows if you’ve been bad or good So be good for goodness sake! O! You better watch out! You better not cry Better not pout I’m telling you why Santa Claus is coming to town Santa Claus is coming to town

Here is my re-envisioning as an informational poster to warn parents about this sinister visitor:

WATCH OUT DO NOT CRY DO NOT POUT THIS IS WHY: He Is Coming

He has a list Accurately researched He knows He Is Coming He sees you He knows He knows For goodness sake WATCH OUT

WATCH OUT DO NOT CRY DO NOT POUT THIS IS WHY: He Is Coming HE IS COMING

That’s my Christmas card sorted.

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